Monday, February 8, 2010


Once the 30 inches from our recent Snowpocalypse here in Washington, DC melts, many of you may be looking for something to do that gets you out of the house but allows you to keep warm. Look no further than this Sunday's Our City Film Festival. The event, a perfect Valentines Day date I might add, will take place at the Goethe Institute in China Town and feature documentaries made about our fair city (you know, the one under all that snow). The films being shown cover everything from DC's booming farmer's market movement, a late night at a Jumbo Slice (DC's venerable drunk food of choice), the homeless chess players in Dupont Circle, and our personal favorite, Straight Up Go-Go, a documentary on DC's go-go music scene featuring musical legend Chuck Brown (note: one of the g0-g0 musicians featured in the film will be on hand).

Need another reason? All proceeds from the event will go to Yachad - a Jewish non-profit for affordable housing whose main mission is to rejuvenate lower-income neighborhoods by helping those who already live there stay there and stop the displacing effects of gentrification. So there you have it, cinematic enlightenment, social justice and getting the hell out of the house for a while all wrapped up into one perfect Valentines Day.

For tickets and information click here.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Jock Rock


We never miss an opportunity to make fun of someone's inflated ego, and in the wake of this year's Super Bowl, we thought we'd take a moment to poke fun at athletes who didn't think they were famous enough already. Here, a list of some of the best sports bloopers we've ever seen and a gentle reminder to other athletes with musical ambitions: Don't quit your day job.

Shaquille O'Neal - Diesel
Between his two careers Shaq has broken an equal amount of backboards and ear drums.
Sample lyric: "I can flow like pee coming out you know what/Or some poopy diarrhea coming out your butt."




Deion Sanders - Prime Time
Someone from the record company should have intercepted this before it hit the shelves.
Sample Lyric: "Every since I was young I was the best in sports/From the baseball diamond to the hoop courts."




Oscar De La Hoya - Self Titled
I'd rather have De La Hoya punch me in the face as hard as he can than make me listen to his music for more than a second.
Sample lyric: "If ever you got rain in your heart/Someone has hurt you and torn you apart/Am I unwise to open up your eyes to love me"




Terry Bradshaw - I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry
The Pittsburgh Steeler's quarterback/loose cannon might have carried his football team at times, but he couldn't carry a tune
Sample lyric: (these are covers so at least he couldn't screw that up)




Jack McDowell (Stick Figure) - Memento Mori
American league pitchers don't normally get to hit the ball. If McDowell's music is any indication that's a good thing because it's certain he'd strike out.
Sample lyric - "She's ready now/But you never have to mention/She's steady now/No signs of her dementia/I'm still waiting for her to say/I feel Magenta"


-Travis Hare

Friday, February 5, 2010

Snowbliteration


You would think, given the fact that we here at AOoN are currently being battered by a storm that is supposed to rival the great Knickerbocker Storm of 1922, I'd have plenty of time to write. It turns out that epic snowfall just outside my window has a way of elevating my ADHD to unprecedented levels. Instead, I've decided to let others do the work for me. For those of you more inclined to sweating than myself, here's a great winter weather workout mix from our good friends at NPR.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Scott Thought #3

Our good friend Scott has one more point to make about why you oughta be spending your money on live music instead of poor quality mp3's.

I saw my favorite band, The National, at the 9:30 Club last May, and I will remember it forever. Matt Berninger, their lead singer picked up a bottle of Malbec at the end of “About Today” live, where there is a long and brilliant instrumental, and he was able to take a break. After rocking out for a bit, he found himself parched, and, looking up, smiling, he shot the cork into the audience. Hundreds of hands shot up and I came up with it. I framed the cork and have it to this day! It’s these personal intimate moments with your band that are light-years ahead of crappy iTunes quality listening. This is why we save money to pony up for a splurge when we can listen to the same song in the comfort of our own home. Music is not sports where people would rather watch the game on their Hi-Def television. I hope, I sincerely hope, that with the coming decade and digital age, where it is easier than ever to hear your song wherever whenever, that we will keep the concert going strong because each and every person comes home with a story. And besides, even if you disagree with the rest of what I said and think it’s crap, face it…concerts are f***in awesome!

-Scott Goldstein

Funkier Than the Average Bear

With the Super Bowl upon us, frequent contributing writer Debbie McGuire, A.K.A. my mom, remembers a special moment in time when music and sports collided like two angry linemen.


This is the 25th anniversary for a great music video. No, this group did not make it into the music hall of fame, nor did they win any great awards for their music.

25 years ago, in 1985, the Chicago Bears won the Super Bowl. 80’s dance music was in style, Michael Jackson was at the height of his career and Madonna, Wham and Duran Duran were all topping the charts.

We were headed out of the Punk era and onto something new. At the movies we watched The Breakfast Club, Police Academy, Rambo and The Goonies. On T.V. we were watching Moonlighting, MacGyver and the mini-series North and South.

However, in the month of January, in 1985, we all took a moment to watch not only the Chicago Bears win a Super Bowl; we took a whole month and watched the Chicago Bears do The Super Bowl Shuffle on every late night show, on the news, and on the new MTV. Yes, the beloved Super Bowl Shuffle - Jim McMann, Refrigerator Perry and other Bears greats danced, sang, and played their horns to raise money to feed the poor in Chicago. The video is on Youtube now, which of course didn’t even exist in 1985. It’s still just as endearing today as it was then. So, Happy 25th Anniversary to The Super Bowl Shuffle.






-Debbie McGuire

Monday, February 1, 2010

When They Get Together, It's Always Hot Magic

Today writer Michelle Fay Nowitz gives her amazing tale of one crazy night with Of Montreal.
If you’ve never heard Of Montreal’s ethereal tunes, listening to them for the first time might be an experience similar to Alice going down the rabbit hole. Alice, floating in midair at moments, falling fast and hard at others - all resulting in an adrenaline pumping high sure to make your brain conjure up psychedelic visuals as well as dance your ass off. Of Montreal’s latest album, Skeletal Lamping, takes you on a psychedelic-pop journey through endless twists and turns with surprises around every corner. Their show at the 9:30 club this past weekend wasn’t much different.

The moment the lights dimmed, the audience was greeted by four men donned in black body suits wearing various animal head masks. Each picking a different instrument, they began to play, strum, and bang mercilessly, as if they were children who just discovered that they could make endless noise. The crowd, who was cheering them on, assumed that the band members were wearing the various masks (Kevin Barnes, of course, being the tiger), but were pleasantly surprised to see the actual band members come out one by one and kick the animal-human hybrids off their instruments. The second they picked up their instruments and got settled, they immediately swung into their pop hit “Suffer For Fashion”. And with the opening drumbeat of the song, on went the lights and the colorful, vivacious graphics on the large screens behind them accompanied by Kevin Barnes’s melodic voice floating through the rafters. They continued on to play “Mingusings”, in a harder and louder version than is found on Skeletal Lamping.

As for graphics, the band innovatively used the green shirt Kevin Barnes was wearing and the green masks the mimes (who were previously on stage as the animal-human hybrids) had on as a green screen; when the live cameras placed around the stage would film a band member, instead of the plain green that they donned in real life, the color would magically turn into multi-color kaleidoscope designs on the big screen above the stage. And for the band members who weren’t wearing green? The mimes generously shined green lights onto them, forming an other-worldly effect, also translated on to the screen. They even took it as far as to have two mimes (one in a green cape) fighting behind Barnes with green swords (or lightsabers, depending on how you look at it) as he sung.

The concert was a theatrical production which even a non-Montreal fan would have found amusing, if not mesmerizing. The band morphed even their smoother, gentler songs into ones that the audience could jump, dance, and prance to-much like Kevin Barnes seemed to be doing on stage during most of their set; their clever use of green screen (especially during “Spike The Senses”) was impressive and complemented the music perfectly; and let’s not forget the moment when two men came on stage in gas masks and surrounded by smoke as Barnes sung the mesmerizing and slower tune of “St. Exquisite’s Confessions”, which picks up towards the end with the surreal lyrics “Feeling voices again not good/Think the sky is pregnant with maggots…” Or the man dressed in boys’ one-piece pajamas come on stage accompanied by a guy dressed up as a priest. “St. Exquisite’s Confessions” ends climactically with intense music emanating from guitarist Bryan Poole and drummer Jamey Huggins, and the boy beating the shit out of the priest. And did I mention the point where two guys come on stage wearing only underwear poised in the dark, holding what I could tell was some sort of fruit? They stayed standing tall and proud as Barnes jumped and danced around them, and the audience jumped with him, as he sang “Oslo In The Summertime” effortlessly. Just as effortlessly as it seemed the men crushed the fruits in the palms of their hands.

By the end of the show, the visual and theatrical stakes got raised higher and higher with each song. From the mimes shooting feathers out of huge machines on to the crowd as they danced, to the epic finale: heavy instrumentals blare, strobe lights flashing brighter and faster, and Kevin Barnes climbing on top of a huge wooden X with each arm or leg on each section, vertically facing the crowd as the mimes pull the sides of the X stretching Barnes, as if it is a medieval torture device. Kevin Barnes is a thespian in our modern age – his stage presence and behavior is histrionic in the best way possible.

Lyrics are an important part of Of Montreal’s unique sound – their surreal feel give way to an incomparable vibe and tell elaborate stories that exist as if on a virtual plane which you can listen to incessantly. You will soon become addicted to the best kind of sexually explicit lyrics such as “I want you to be my pleasure puss/I wanna know what it’s like to be inside you” from “Plastis Wafer”. Or “we can do it softcore if you want, but you should know I take it both ways/We can do it softcore if you want, but you should know that I go both ways” from “For Our Elegant Caste” (I won’t even mention the lyrics to “Gallery Piece”). Barnes’s inimitable voice creates a musical cocoon that continuously draws you in as you listen to the unconventional lyrics and transports you down the rabbit hole for the entirety of the performance. The band was omnipotent – controlling the crowd at will with their instruments and voices. They commanded attention with their stage presence, resulting in frenzied screams and endless howls of approval from the crowd.

From their grand opening to their extravagant finale, the entire audience was Alice, falling chaotically and rapidly down the rabbit hole, and enjoying every second of it.

-Michelle Fay Nowitz

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Thoughts from The Grammys

It has occurred to me many times that I have a serious deficit of knowledge when it comes to mainstream music. If asked to name a Taylor Swift song, despite the fact that I have heard her name and seen her face numerous times, I'd be hard pressed. In an effort to try and figure out what the hell people are talking about when they mention Lady Gaga, I have decided to dedicate myself to an evening of watching The Grammys. Here's what I have learned.

- Lady Gaga, who may or may not be a robot, sings an Elton John song with dirt all over her face and hair as the opening number. Lady Gaga is kind of awesome.

-Stephen Colbert tries to make stars laugh by making fun of them. This is clearly not going to work and the look Jay Z just gave you is terrifying. Please be careful Stephen.

-Wow Green Day. Wow. Singing with a Broadway ensemble at The Grammys. You are still so punk rock.

-Beyonce walks out dressed up like she's in the military and ends up singing an Alanis Morrisette song. Totally logical.

- Pink walks out dressed like a monk and ends up soaking wet and naked, hanging from the rafters by a twisted bed sheet. Totally logical

-Already I've heard enough about Beyonce, Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga to last me a lifetime. Seriously, you just know Taylor Swift is in some animal sacrificing, blood-drinking cult in her free time.

- will. i. am of The Black Eyed Peas just welcomed me to the future. If the future is going to be dominated with soulless pop music like the performance they just put on I opt for the Bladerunner, 12 Monkeys, Children of Men distopian future instead.

-All the country music acts sound identical to the pop acts. The only difference I can discern between the two is that the country music guys still have 1990's style spiky hair.

-Best comedy album? Awesome! Weird Al is a nominee? Double awesome! Stephen Colbert wins and thanks Jesus for having a great birthday. That seems like a fitting place to stop watching.

I tried. Happy birthday Jesus!

-Travis Hare

Song of the Week

Every now and then you discover a new band you love that you know no one else has ever heard of. At that point you have a decision to make - tell everyone and spread the gospel or keep it to yourself, secure in the knowledge that this music is for your ears only. Well, lucky for you I've decided to share the wealth.

Papercuts is a band out of San Francisco that sound something like the sad-sack, dreamy-eyed love child concieved one night during a threesome between The Smashing Pumpkins, The Zombies and The Byrds - in otherwords, it's beautiful. Check out the video below to hear the song that has been haunting my brain for the last few weeks, a song called "Dear Employee" off their 2007 release, Can't Go Back.

Friday, January 29, 2010

They Say It's Your Birthday...

Although I now live in a pinko-commie commune within organic-broccoli-throwing distance from a Whole Foods out on the East Coast, a tiny little piece of my liberal bleeding heart still remains in the state of my birth. Oh Kansas, despite your evolution-questioning, abortion-doctor-martyring, red-meat lovin' ways, there's still something about you that remains deep in my soul (and arteries). You were a rare bastion of freedom in the Midwest during the Civil War - fighting off evil Missouri slave owners, and harboring the likes of bat-shit crazy (and awesome) John Brown. During the 1930's you were a hotbed for a socialistic government takeover that nearly caught on due to capitalism's failures during the Great Depression and in the 1960's your residents struck a victory for civil rights in Brown v. The Topeka Board of Education. So one has to wonder - what the fuck happened to you?

Like an ex hippie who now owns shares of Halliburton, you've lost your way but you do have a glorious past to look back on and hopefully, one day, live up to. You also have a really kick ass basketball team! In honor of the day you took your place in the union - January 29th, your birthday, and one epic college showdown this weekend, we here at AOoN thought it only right to post a link to our previously written list of the top ten bands from the Jayhawk State. Keep rocking Kansas (you know, in lieu of any progress in any other areas).

To see the list click here

-Travis Hare

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Scott Thought #2


Everything in the music industry has changed recently, from the way we buy our music (no more records or buying whole Cd’s…indeed, the band considers itself lucky if the song just isn’t ripped from somewhere online), to the way we listen to it. Now I’m not saying change isn’t good, but there is something missing: No longer do we sit in a chair for the entire 15 minutes of Awaken, by Yes; rather, many listeners change the radio station after every song, or just fast forward to the chorus on their iPods. Yet there is one part of music that must absolutely never cease to exist, and that is the concert. Now, I don’t go to many concerts, but I honestly think they are one of the most important things in all of music. The being there, with your band, as if they are playing directly to you, and for you. Surrounded by hundreds, or thousands of people, no clue who they are, where they came from, or what they’re going through, yet all of you as a single unit, eyes closed, stupid grins on your faces, listening to that show-stopping song. This almost spiritual unity of thousands of people in one venue must never end.

-Scott Goldstein